When I talk about what I do, I often like to use the phrase, “There’s madness to my madness.”
It sounds kind of cool – just a little bit off but still a little bit right. Plus it conveys what I want it to convey, which is largely that at pretty much all levels I really have no idea what I’m doing.
But at the same time, it doesn’t quite convey the full picture about the way I operate, not just as a writer but how I pretty much approach everything in my life. While I’m still more than happy to admit that I’m fundamentally clueless in most things I do, I’m not completely flailing around in an impotent fashion. I actually make a conscious effort to address my cluelessness in the most informed way I can.
So what exactly do I mean by that? Firstly, I suppose being aware of my cluelessness is important. The more prepared I am for the fact that I’m going in cold, the more likely I’ll be able to deal with whatever totally unexpected consequences will occur as a result of my actions.
Secondly, it gives me an opportunity to reduce my level of cluenessness, at least by a little. I may never achieve the levels of expertise I’d like, but at least I can try to educate myself. And hey, a little research never hurt anybody, did it?
Thirdly, and most enjoyably, it gives me the chance to throw my hands in the air and leap into whatever I’m doing with a sense of joyous abandon. So what if I’m clueless. I’m still going to get in there and do my best. Maybe I’ll succeed or maybe I’ll crash and burn. Maybe I’ll come out being a little less clueless, or maybe I won’t. Either way, I’ll know I’ve given it a damn good shot.
So, as I said at the start of this post, there truly is madness to my madness. Or maybe I should say there’s a method to my madness to my madness? Or maybe I should say…
I know, I’m totally rambling. In the end, I’m just as clueless as ever. So what else is there to say except have a good week and enjoy the holiday season!
Posted by Jonathan Gould and tagged as