It’s a common enough refrain – to wish that your dreams come true. It’s the basis of many stories, and pretty much the whole raison d’etre of the Disney multimedia empire. But when you think about it, is it really such a great thing? Do you really want your dreams to come true?

When I think about what happens inside my mind at night while I’m asleep, I can tell you the answer without even thinking about it. Absolutely not.

Because, I have to say, my dreams are pretty weird. I find myself in strange and uncomfortable situations, and places I’d do anything to escape. My real-life experiences may not be perfect but is this the way I’d like them to go? Not a chance.

Here are some of the things I’d have to deal with if my dreams were ever to come true.

Firstly, I’d find myself back in school. Yes that’s right, I seem to dream about being back in school an awful lot. And believe me, it’s not a happy experience. I don’t want to comment too much about the reality of my schooling, or the psychic scars it may or may not have left. But one thing I know for sure is it’s not a place I ever want to go back to.

And when I’m not at school, there’s a good chance I’d be back in old jobs I hated. Yes, that’s another recurring motif of my dream world – revisiting sites of former employment, particular those that didn’t end well (and believe it or not, there are a few of them). I like to think that most of me has moved on from those experiences, but it seems there’s a place in the depths of my mind that hasn’t.

So a big part of my dreams coming true would be school and work-based. But that’s not the only thing that would happen. I’d regularly find myself trying to get home and facing long journeys that for some reason never seem to end. I’d attempt simple tasks, like just trying to get dressed, and find the mechanics of how clothes work to be far too complicated. And I would deal with other situations I really don’t want to start describing because they’re quickly going to get far too weird.

I don’t know what this says about me. It’s possible I’ve already revealed far too much about myself. All I can say with any certainty is that my mind takes me to strange and uncomfortable places while I sleep, and the less time I spend there, the better.

That doesn’t mean I don’t have goals I want to achieve. There’s all sorts of stuff I want to do. But does that mean I want my dreams to come true? No way.