Well I’m done hopping for now. Over the next couple of days, I’m reverting to touring mode. Not me this time, but I’m pleased to be opening Dag-Lit Central up for David M. Brown and Vickie Johnstone for their Raining Cats and Dogs tour. And make sure you check it out, as there are some great prizes to be won.
Today, David is here, telling us about the truth behind the writing of his book, Man vs Cat.
Exposing the Truth
Back in my university days I once considered being a journalist, thirsty for the next story and being one of the decent writers in search of the truth rather than relying on lies or fabrication. As things turned out I opted to write fiction instead, straying further from the truth than some journalists do, but in 2010 I found myself inexplicably becoming that journalist I had once thought would never happen. I use the term journalist loosely, of course. I think war correspondent is more appropriate.
One day my wife decided to open our house to cats. We started with two but today are the owners of six. Now, let’s pause for a minute and consider that. Six cats. That’s six. Between five and seven or half a dozen. That’s almost the Magnificent Seven or the Seven Dwarves, but not quite, more the Wild Bunch and that’s me being fair. I’d never owned cats before but I’d heard stories. Oh, dear reader, I’d heard many blood-curdling tales of these felines things and suffice to say their sudden arrival instilled in me the highest degree of apprehension. Things began calmly. I even suspected for a time that all would be well but I was so wrong, dear friends, how wrong I was.
As I write these words, I am sheltered in a bunker, safe from the planes that drop empty tins of tuna and used cat toys that are now surplus to requirements. Like Skynet in the Terminator films, it was as if the cats suddenly became self-aware and they sought to build on their already superior complex, a state of arrogance we can blame the Ancient Egyptians for. No longer content to be worshipped as gods, our six cats wanted to be gods and their primary target in this new and epic war was me. I am the leader of the resistance. It’s an impressive army comprised of just me but I’m hopeful others will join. They get a free fridge magnet if they do.
To ease my fear, I blogged about the cats. I watched them from a distance and made painstaking notes before braving the firewalls (literally a wall of fire the cats set up) to go online and tell the world the truth. My wife and I had separate blogs at the time. She posted cute pictures of the cats and said how great they were. I shared my observations and also typed up the minutes from meetings they had about us, the world, everything, even Justin Bieber.
Soon the cats were onto us. My wife’s cute blog they deemed exploitative and a serious breach of their feline rights, while my blog they condemned as scandalous, puerile and all lies, apart from that incident with the jigsaw. They couldn’t deny that one. The two blogs were shut down and though we were able to have a joint blog, any derogatory posts about the cats i.e. cuddly kitten pictures or admonishments that they’re trying to kill us were made taboo. I still needed the world to know the truth so I turned to this book.
Written through months of sleepless nights, ducking to avoid sprays of used cat litter from the guns of tanks and listening to Buggles’ exclamations that the Twilight series is awesome sauce, I gathered all my notes and coupled them with fresh material to deliver my first chronicle of our six cats, who they are, what they want and how they’re trying to kill me. This is meant as a warning to all mankind. Remember Planet of the Apes? Well, that’s where we’re heading if we don’t do something about it now. Listen to my words and join with me in the resistance. I’ll be waiting in my bunker till then.
History has known many famous cats – Garfield, Mr Bigglesworth, Simon’s Cat, the Aristocats, the Cheshire cat and the Keyboard Cat on YouTube.
In recent years these feline things have replaced man’s best friend as the most popular pet in the U.S. while the Ancient Egyptians once worshipped them as gods. This was a mistake and I’m here to tell you why.
Man vs Cat is the story of one man, one woman and the six cats that changed their lives forever. To the woman they brought love and affection, to the man they brought sleepless nights, fear, paranoia and even ruined his jigsaw. Need I say more?
Man vs Cat on Amazon US: http://amzn.to/11QcZnL
Man vs Cat on Amazon UK: http://amzn.to/SL2oGC
About the author
David Brown could be considered a fantasy fanatic, especially since he has spent the last 10 years developing a 47,000-year history for his fictional world of Elenchera. When converting his obsession into literary form, David commits himself to a rigorous writing and editing process before his work can meet his approval. Combined with the critical eye of his wife and a BA Hons in History and English, David’s dedication leads him to his goal of inspiring readers through heartfelt stories and characters.
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