November 9, 2013 in Dag

Walking on thin ice

I always feel like I’m walking on thin ice.

No, I’m not some sort of ice-skater. Hey, I live in Australia, where ice is actually in short supply. We have a couple of skating rinks, but believe me there’s no risk of falling through into freezing water below.

I’m talking more about the general business of life. I always feel that as I go about my day-to-day business, I’m that close to stuffing up big time and making a big mess out of everything.

It feels like that in all aspects of life. My work. My relationships. My writing. I often feel like I don’t have any competence in any of them. I’m just living a complete sham, constantly covering up and trying to hide the fact that I have no idea what I’m doing.

And I always feel like I’m about to be found out. The next thing I do at work, or the next thing I say to a family member or friend, or the next thing I write, will finally reveal my secret and I’ll be well and truly revealed to all the world.

For some strange reason, it hasn’t happened yet. Occasionally, there’ll be near misses. I’ll say or do something that will make people give me funny looks. Or something I do will create some sort of ruckus. Sometimes I’ll quickly take responsibility and fix things up before they get out of hand. More often, I’ll cover up, or just get myself out of there before I can be blamed.

But I know my luck can’t last forever. Eventually, I know all will be revealed. Then the ice will crack and I’ll fall down into the freezing water (metaphorically of course).

Hope I’m wearing something warm.

Have a great week –  and please don’t tell anybody.

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